Controlling Brain Chatter (B. New Ideas)

フランシス・ローレライ 作

In trying to deal with brain chatter, one method I have resorted to is slapping on the face, somewhat in hard fashion, on and around the ears, with emphasis on the right side, to shock and destabilize the Id, so as to disrupt its noxious activities.

I have met with great success in terms of cowering the Id into submission, and I would highly recommend this "rough and tough" methodology to anyone who is seeking new, effective remedy. (However, please take care not to burst your eardrums!)

New Methods against Brain Chatter

1. TV and Radio

(1) If indoors and unable to take physical exercise, a good alternative may be to turn on the TV to a channel with the volume set to zero, so that the program must be watched without sound. Then turn on the radio and tune in to a non-music program. With this preparation, watch the TV program while listening in to the radio program.

(2) This should alleviate brain chatter and permit temporary relief from stressfulness. The reasoning goes as follows:

(a) Watching TV this way would require use of the right brain hemisphere for capturing the visual images, especially for facial recognition.

(b) Listening in to the radio program should require use of the left hemisphere to comprehend the spoken words, since the native language areas are normally located within the left brain hemisphere.

(c) Thus, the Ego has to be accessing both the right and left hemispheres at once and, moreover, since the visual TV images do not match the verbal radio messages at all, the Ego will have no time to relax, as it will try hard to make sense of the confusing situation in a coherent and sensible manner.

(This may be likened to a binocular rivalry situation, whereby an image placed within the binocular field of vision does not make sense, as the left and right halves do not match each other. Then the Ego makes a frantic attempt to grasp the situation by moving rapidly back and forth between the left and right hemispheres, in order to take a peek at the image from each different eye.)

(d) When successful, this exercise will drive out the Id from the language areas inside either hemisphere, from which it can stage brain chatter. This leaves the individual in mastery of the language environment although, of course, subject to and at the mercy of the TV and radio programs being broadcast.

(3) An alternative way to try this exercise would be, with the radio tuned in to a music program and see what happens, because music is usually handled inside the right hemisphere.

2. Shock Treatment (Self-Punishment)

Meanwhile, if brain chatter persists, try some more primitive methods:

(Aim at the Id)

(1) In a peaceful and stable environment, the Id, living as it is well protected within the human brain, may consider itself safe and invulnerable, especially as it seems far removed from the sensation of pain, in contrast to the Ego, which is always under outside pressure to protect itself from physical pain, from the social community, and from changing weather conditions.

(2) However, the Id may be likened to a small animal lodged within the core of the brain. It can be indirectly nudged, prodded and picked on from the outside, from around the skull and through the sensory organs, the ears, nose and eyes.

(a) An important pressure point for controlling the Id is the anterior fontanelle. It used to be a small cavity in the skull during early infancy, covered with skin, where the skull bone had not yet been welded together. It is located toward the front-center of the skull.

Keep your attention focused on the anterior fontanelle, and expose it to strong light, sunlight where possible, and this should have a paralyzing effect on the Id. Otherwise, knock on or rap at this area.

(b) Since the Id normally uses Broca’s area, Wernicke’s area and the cerebellum on either side of the brain for Brain Chatter and for using the silent megaphone, an effective way to control this annoying phenomenon is to knock on or to rap at the skull directly above these areas with a fist or finger.

(3) A safer but effective method may be to hit repeatedly at both cheeks with the palm of your hands so that it makes a clapping sound, as if to overcome drowsiness in the morning, or while preparing to drive a car.

(4) Since the Id is based in the interbrain and trespasses into the right cerebral hemisphere and cerebellum, it can be distracted, pressurized and intimidated by stimuli applied inside the mouth, especially along the central ridge dividing the upper palate.

(a) The tongue can be used to flick the upper palate from the back-center toward the front teeth, sending minor ripples toward the brain stem, as if to tap the Id on the shoulder.

(b) Tooth-picks can be used to clean the teeth and gums, and the space in between. Such action seems to intimidate the Id, and make it suspend brain chatter and other antics, albeit temporarily.

(c) Trips to the dentist that involve cleaning, drilling and polishing the teeth are perfect for shock treatment on the Id.

(d) Open your mouth and expose it to sunlight, as this seems to calm down the Id. In the absence of sunlight, use a small flashlight and aim at the back-center of the upper palate; strong light from the ceiling may work better.

(5) Another important “pressure point” for controlling brain chatter is through the right (or left) ear that tends to reverberate when the Id indulges in this noxious activity.

(a) Block the entrance of the right (or left) ear with a button or ring and this will interfere with Brain Chatter.

(b) Cover the right (or left) ear lobe with a rubber band.

[(a) and (b) used together, can be an effective antidote for controlling unwanted libido.]

(c) Cup the palm of your hands and use them to box at the ears, as if to send air inside, and this will send shockwaves to the Id and cause the local Id network to disperse.

(d) Try to expose the right eardrum to outside noise from the street, including from factories and construction work.

(6) Nostrils and Eyes

(a) A small flashlight can be used to send in a streak of electric light into the nostrils and ears too.

(b) Breathing with the left nostril blocked with a finger seems to stop the Id from engaging in “brain chatter.”

(Smash Id Network)

(7) People who find themselves picked on and bullied at should knock on or rap at either side of the skull, just around the ear. This will chastise the subconscious mind (the Id) that connives with the subconscious minds (the Ids) of people nearby to create malicious waves against you.

(Imaginary Spanking)

(8) A more clandestine way of chastising the Id, that can be practiced without having people notice, is to give the skull a good knocking or rapping, without actually raising the fist, but by using the imagination to visualize, in “manga” fashion, how it may be done in real practice, and to reminisce on what pain and sensation one may feel when a fist is used to clobber the head; strangely enough, the Id seems to react as if such physical punishment had really been inflicted, and will suspend any mischief it may have been engaged in.

3. Toothpick Acupuncture

(1) As if practicing a layman’s version of acupuncture, using a toothpick to prick on and produce sharp sensations in different parts of the body seems to help the Ego reestablish its dominance and control over the Id.

(2) This seems to be effective especially when carried out on those parts of the body, such as the back and calves, that tend to be out of sight in daily life, untouched and neglected unless they are scrubbed in the bathtub; pricking on the skull, especially on the areas around the ears as well as on the earlobes, seems to provide an effective countermeasure against brain chatter.

(3) This may be because such pricking sensations are transmitted up to the primary somatic sensory cortex in the parietal lobe of the brain, specialized for the purpose of picking up such signals; in the process of retrieving such signals, the Ego must extend itself outward from the prefrontal cortex, effectively to expand its network inside the brain, to the detriment of the Id’s own network.

4. Shiatsu, Acupressure and Head Massage

(1) The Japanese practice of Shiatsu, or applying pressure with fingers and hands on “pressure points” over the body surface provides clues on alternative ways to deal with brain chatter and, while it may be a good idea to visit an expert, one should also be aware that it is also possible to service oneself, especially above the shoulders, targeting points particularly relevant to controlling brain chatter.

(2) Paul Ivan Yakovlev, an American neuroanatomist pointed out that there is a slight asymmetry in the way the 2 hemispheres face each other inside the skull, and this is called the Yakovlevian torque; the right hemisphere is shifted slightly forward compared to the left, and the left hemisphere is shifted slightly backward relative to the right.

This must mean, in certain places, the Id, engaged in brain chatter inside, must be more exposed and vulnerable to outside stimulus because of this uneven packaging of brain tissue from the 2 hemispheres, especially in areas close to the fault line or fissure between the left and right brain hemispheres.

(3) Transfer the Ego into either the left or right hemisphere by bringing in the left or right nasal ridge within view, and bear pressure on and massage the following points on the contralateral side of the head. (Middle finger recommended.)

If possible, use a mirror, because your facial expression will suddenly change when you hit the right spots. The impact may be very strong as to cause temporary paralysis of mind and body, so be prepared, and remember to continue breathing deeply as you apply your finger on these points:

(a) While keeping the left nasal ridge within view, so that the Id is in the right hemisphere, apply your finger on the following points on the right side of the head.

(i) On the right side of the nape of neck, find the borderline where hair starts to grow; while tracing this line downwards, close in towards an imaginary, perpendicular line dividing the left and right sides of the skull at the back, and try to find the point located at 05:00 when viewed from right above the head, and at 08:00, viewed from the right side.

(ii) On the right side of the forehead, trace out the area on the scalp where hair starts to grow and, while moving the finger slowly upwards toward the top of the skull, try to imagine and seek out the point that is located at 01:00 when viewed from straight above the head, and also at 01:00 when viewed from the right side.

(b) While keeping the right nasal ridge within view, so that the Id is in the left hemisphere, apply your finger on the following points on the left side of the head, located in symmetry with the points described just above, as counterpart pressure points.

(iii) On the left side of the nape of neck, find the borderline where hair starts to grow; while tracing this line downwards, close in towards an imaginary, perpendicular line dividing the left and right sides of the skull at the back, and try to find the point located at 07:00 when viewed from straight above the head, and at 04:00, viewed from the left side.

(iv) On the left side of the forehead, trace out the area on the scalp where hair starts to grow and, while moving the finger slowly upwards towards the top of the skull, try to imagine and seek out the point located at 11:00 when viewed from the top, and also at 11:00 when viewed from the left side.

(4) This technique will have the strongest impact when applied for the first time and, with repeated practice, the effect will gradually diminish, so that one may be inclined to do it several times a day.

However, it may be advisable to set a personal limit, i.e. once every morning, because shiatsu sessions conducted too frequently may cause excessive stress on the part of the Id, so that it will vent its frustration and seek release in other ways, such as causing indigestion leading to an upset stomach, resembling a side-effect from taking too many pills.

It is best to give the Id some time to rest and “lick its wounds,” as peaceful coexistence will be necessary. Thereafter, resort to other methods as appropriate, so that the marginal benefits remain substantial, and the side-effects do not accumulate.

5. Magnetism

(1) While brain MRI may be just another part of a physical examination, it may also be effective as a remedy for alleviating stressfulness. It seems to smooth out communication between the 2 brain hemispheres and discourage the Id from noxious activities including brain chatter. This may be the work of electric currents flowing through the brain upon exposure to strong magnetic forces, i.e. electromagnetic induction.

(2) Simple kitchen magnets can be used to achieve similar results, by holding them close to the head and using them in a repeated, skimming motion, in the way a comb is used to smooth out the hair. This should cause electric currents to flow inside the brain, in accordance with Faraday’s laws.
There may be rather dramatic results, including a deepening of the voice and speech facilitation.

(a) Hold the magnet with the right hand, apply it to the right side of the head, and move it clockwise slowly around the ear, in circular motion.

(b) Hold the magnet with the left hand, apply it to the left side of the head, and move it clockwise slowly around the ear, in circular motion.

(3) At the same time, however, moderation is advised because, although one may not notice any strong stimulus while the magnet is actually being applied, the practitioner may be taken by surprise by the full effect that hits seconds later.

There may be a sudden rise in tension and a strange sensation inside the head, resulting in a more focused and serious mood to last over 1 or 2 days, so that one may feel an urge to seek release.

(4) The first of these sessions may yield the most dramatic results in terms of controlling brain chatter and, with repeated practice, the effect will tend to diminish so that, after several days of practice, the exercise may conspicuously lose effectiveness. However, this is probably a sign that the Ego is losing its magnetic polarity, a symptom of brain chatter, and that the workings of the mind are being corrected and revised.

6. Dealing with the Silent Megaphone

The silent megaphone is an inaudible channel of communication that the Id uses when it finds itself idle, to create trouble with the surrounding people.

A typical situation may be while traveling, pent up in small seats aboard vehicles, trains, ferries and aircraft. The physical constraints and lack of exercise detracts from the Ego’s ability to assert authority over the Id, as physical exercise normally leads to control over the 2 brain hemispheres.

In such circumstances, the Id may try to kill time by engaging in mischief, passing on messages over the silent megaphone that the collective subconscious may find noxious and provocative, inviting disapproval and reprimand; the individual may suddenly find the people nearby offended and even aggressive for apparently no reason at all.

One should then suspect that the Id is using the silent megaphone for doing its dirty work, and try to deal with the situation as follows:

(1) Ear Plugs

An important “pressure point” for controlling the silent megaphone is through the right (or left) ear that tends to reverberate when the Id indulges in this noxious activity. Therefore, block the entrance of the right (or left) ear with an earplug, button or ring and this should interfere with the silent megaphone.

(2) Physical Shock

One way to deal with the silent megaphone is to knock on or rap at the right side of the head, especially the area around the ear, with the fist or perhaps a pen or pencil, and this should destabilize the Id with tremors and reverberations, so that it will drop its antics with the silent megaphone; people’s attitude will show almost immediate improvement, i.e. they will cease to be aggressive, as if a magic spell had been broken.

(3) Social Graces

The Id should be taught proper manners, social rules and acceptable behavior in the community of Ids or the collectivized subconscious, as follows:

(a) Instead of sending out messages that cause offense and bring on opprobrium, the Id should be given clear instructions to use the silent megaphone to say “hello,” exchange salutations and greetings with people in the immediate vicinity and self-introduce, to be recognized as a new member of the local Id community.

(i) This may be called for at home, in the neighborhood, at school and at the office or place of work, and frequently visited places such as restaurants and cafes, where much the same clientele tend to gather.

(ii) Self-introduction will give the Id a sense of belonging and obligation toward the local Id community, as well as an awareness of its place in that community, and more of an incentive to try to adapt and smoothly fit in.

(b) After this self-introduction, the local community of Ids will start to feel a sense of obligation to accommodate the novice Id and provide it with education and training, so that it may better fit into the collective subconscious.

(4) Aggressive Glare

If you feel there is a consistent and pernicious onslaught by people in your vicinity, the last resort is to glare at them, focusing into their left eye (in a face to face situation, on the right side), because the left eye represents the Id. (Interestingly enough, while this seems to be an effective deterrent during the day, it attracts people at night.)

7. Collective Exorcism

From the onset of brain chatter, the afflicted may become aware that their thoughts seem to diffuse externally, to be somehow picked up by people nearby.

This phenomenon is probably due to the fact that some of their urges and strong feelings are indeed detected, not by the people themselves (their Egos), but by their subconscious minds (their Ids), so that it produces a visible, physical reaction, e.g. in the expression of their faces, and this is perceived by the patient as proof that their thoughts are being read by other people.

Here, the main idea is to take advantage of this strange phenomenon and put it to good use, i.e. to call for help from others, in a silent sort of way, and this tends to work so effectively against the Id that it may seem magical in the first instance.

(1) If patient A quietly shouts out the message, “Help! My Id is harassing me with brain chatter. It’s acting like a wicked devil!” to the surrounding elements, this will be picked up and understood by the surrounding Ids, who will then go out of their way to help patient A by scolding Id(A) in an unseen, silent fashion, as if they were guardian angels.

(2) The Id community, or collectivized subconscious, seems to react quickly and more effectively when Id(A) is identified and named a public enemy, e.g. as a traitor, terrorist, infidel, etc. when calling for help.

(3) In any case, one should remember that the Id has a distaste for groups and congregations, as if it knew that other people would somehow be able to help. The Id will try to isolate the patient and discourage companionship, therefore, one must resist and counter such pressure.

(4) A favorite trick used by the Id takes advantage of the fact that the Ego cannot hear or detect any messages passed on by the Id over the silent megaphone.

(a) Id(A) will use the silent megaphone to address complaints over Ego(A), allegedly a social nuisance and source of anguish and suffering; Id(A) will ask for punitive measures from the Ids of the surrounding people.

(b) Under such circumstances, A may feel a persistent provocation and abuse from people nearby and sometimes find the eyes brimming with tears without apparent reason.

(5) In such cases, the following measures should be taken to inflict punishment on Id(A):

(a) A should silently inform people in the vicinity that Id(A) is an impostor and liar, and should not be listened to; Id(A) should be subjected to severe punishment.

“This Id of mine is a liar, and should not be listened to. Get him and bash him in !”

“Please make this Id shut up!”

(b) A could also mention that Id(A) plays mischief on pronunciation, diction and on heartbeat, as well as by urging sudden, untimely visits to the bathroom.

(6) In case there are conflicting views between the Ego and the Id, where the Id simply refuses to concede on the next step or course of action, A should be able to mobilize and seek assistance from the collective Id in the vicinity, as follows:

(a) The Ego should call upon and summon the collective Id, by casting subtle glances at the surrounding people.

(b) The Ego should then make a case and implore to the surrounding Ids, in silent mode, that the choice made by the Ego is right, the Ego should have its way, and so the Id should have to concede.

(c) The Ego should then tell the Id that the collective Id has come around to the Ego’s point of view, as apparent in the ambient mood in general, and, being heavily outnumbered, the Id has no choice but to concede.

Controlling Brain Chatter (B. New Ideas)

Controlling Brain Chatter (B. New Ideas)

  • 随筆・エッセイ
  • 短編
  • 全年齢対象
登録日 2019-06-23