In Search of the Id (II. Reflections)

フランシス・ローレライ

Auditory hallucinations are produced in the brain's language areas in either the left or right hemisphere by the Id. Another organ involved must be the cerebellum.

The skull may be likened to a cage with 2 adjoining chambers, each of which are accessed by either the Ego or by the Id. The Ego habitually uses the left hemisphere, and the Id, the right hemisphere. The Id may be considered as an unwelcome guest inside this cage.

In trying to deal with brain chatter, I have resorted to slapping the face, somewhat in hard fashion, on and around the ears, with emphasis on the right side, to shock and destabilize the Id, so as to disrupt its noxious activities. This has been very effective in cowering the Id into submission, and I would highly recommend this "rough and tough" methodology.
(However, please take care not to burst your eardrums!)

Nowadays I use kitchen magnets just above the surface of the head, in a repeated, combing motion over the hair, especially on the right side of the skull, to make electric currents flow inside the brain by way of electromagnetic induction. This has produced unexpectedly good results for me.

However, I also found out that magnetic therapy (TMS) approved for treating depression was not to be practiced on people who suffer from epilepsy, as there was the possibility of inducing seizures. So, notwithstanding the much smaller scale of operation, it may be a good idea to exercise similar precaution here, because it works on the basis of similar principles.

I am a left-handed, polyglot male. For many years, I was afflicted with problems in mental health, including a strange inconvenience when using different languages, and certain brain chatter.

As my problems seemed beyond comprehension, I began to read into psychoanalysis as developed by Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, and looked for information in books and magazines as well as on the internet for coherent explanations.

While I discovered that neuroscience had undergone a revolutionary change following my years in formal education, brain chatter still seemed to remain an enigma, although a relationship with excess dopamine was recognized.

Ever curious to find out the truth, and being sick and tired of taking drugs with unpleasant side-effects and which eventually lost their effectiveness for the same dosage, I took the opportunity of retirement to free myself from medication in order to uncover the truth.

So I did something that may recall the exploits of the Greek hero Ulysses, who decided that he just had to experience the Singing Sirens, dreadfully feared by sailors, as listening to their songs was known to result in shipwreck and certain death.

In dangerous waters, the foolhardy Ulysses refused to plug his ears with wax, had himself tied to a mast, and ordered his men (who had plugged their own ears lest they hear these monsters) to keep on rowing no matter what orders he shouted out, until they had completely left the dangerous area.

This was to take a calculated risk, but the returns have not been meager. I have developed my own theories and devised new remedies, and hardly ever feel the need to take drugs any more, although they do help on occasion, perhaps once or twice a month, depending on the season and on the conditions; drugs are now just another alternative, in case other methods fail.

I would not advise people to follow my risky example and quit medication, but I do hope my ideas may foster confidence and understanding, and help erase the mystery and stigma of mental illness.



1. Bad Connections


(1) For many years, I suffered from faulty communications between the 2 hemispheres, making me behave as if I had undergone a surgical operation on the brain to completely separate the 2 hemispheres, as for treating fits of epilepsy.

This is because during meals, using chopsticks with the left hand, I tended to be very quiet and unable to speak Japanese, but speaking English was not a problem; if I used the right hand to handle chopsticks, I could speak Japanese, but not English.

(2) This deficiency gave me insight into the differences between the left and right brain hemispheres, as well as cross-wiring between the hemispheres and lateral movements of the hands and feet. It also prodded me to study psychoanalysis, as founded by Sigmund Freud and developed by Carl Jung. I was also impressed with recent discoveries in brain science, including the findings of Roger Sperry and Michael Gazzaniga on split brain patients.

I eventually made the following inferences on division of labor between the 2 hemispheres for my case:

(a) When using chopsticks with the left hand, my consciousness, or Ego, must be lodged in the opposite, right hemisphere, where it was able to access the language areas for handling English, but not Japanese.

(b) When using chopsticks with the right hand, the Ego must be seated in the left hemisphere, where it could access the language areas for Japanese, but not for English.

(c) When I use Japanese, I am a man very much oriented toward reason, cold logic and computation, and not gregarious, emotional or moody; this hinted at use of the left hemisphere;

(d) When I use English, I am more gregarious and expressive in terms of emotion; this was suggestive of the right hemisphere.

Thus I concluded that my left hemisphere was used for handling Japanese, and the right hemisphere, for English. My problems were rooted in the combination of left-handedness and the fact that my native language, Japanese, is handled in the left hemisphere; had I been right-handed, or if my right hemisphere handled Japanese, I should not have been faced with my problems.

(3) Consequently, I came to choose whichever brain hemisphere was best suited for smooth language use.

(a) For Japanese, I would exercise the fingers on my right hand, or focus my eyes on the extreme right in my field of vision, so that the Ego was transferred to the left side, wherein lie the language areas for Japanese.

(b) For English, I would either exercise the fingers on my left hand, or focus my eyes on the extreme left, to transfer the Ego into the right brain hemisphere.


(4) As a hobby, I had been taking flute lessons in a group situation, and had experienced difficulty when listening to instructions from the teacher, especially after playing a passage with the instrument. It was very strange, because I could hear the words spoken by the teacher, yet could not grasp the ideas being conveyed, while the rest of the class seemed to have little difficulty.

Eventually, I realized that, while played the flute, the Ego must be transferred into the right brain hemisphere, known to specialize in music. The reason why I could not comprehend subsequent instructions was because the Ego, ensconced in the right hemisphere, could not reach into the left hemisphere where the Japanese language areas are located.

In order to remedy the situation, I tried to exercise the fingers on my right hand every time I finished playing a passage, to transfer the Ego into the left hemisphere, and be ready to listen to the teacher’s instructions. This proved very effective, and I was no longer aloof after playing a passage, and had no more such difficulties.



2. Brain Chatter


I had also been suffering from “brain chatter” for some time, to borrow the words of Jill Bolte Taylor, and had long been wondering what could be the cause, as the information I came across failed to provide a satisfactory explanation.

Eventually, I noticed that, if I used a metal ear cleaner inside the right ear during brain chatter, this would cause the cleaning metal to reverberate; the annoying voices were causing the right ear to resound and resonate inside.

So I decided it must be a very physical phenomenon inside the brain, most probably caused by the subconscious mind, or Id, as expounded by psychoanalysts including Sigmund Freud. I told my doctor about this and he told me, in a subtle manner, that it was a real problem if it had gained linguistic abilities.

In any case, I noticed brain chatter came in roughly 2 different types, i.e. seemingly logical messages (that passed on misleading ideas) vs incantation, consisting of simple words and phrases that were continuously repeated as in a refrain.

I then decided that these 2 categories must originate in either of the 2 brain hemispheres, as they were known to carry different functions; the Id could use either of the brain hemispheres to engage in brain chatter, and this was why there seemed to be 2 different broadcasting stations.


3. Brain MRI and Interim Period


I went through a standard brain examination including brain waves and MRI, and while this was for purposes of grasping the workings of the brain, it served remarkably well to alleviate brain chatter and stressfulness, as well as making it easier to speak in Japanese while using the left hand.

MRI, through the effects of strong electro-magnetism, may have successfully removed the obstruction that had prevented normal left-right brain connections.


4. Brain Chatter in English


(1) After some time following the MRI examination, I suddenly began to experience brain chatter in English, although I was living in Japan.

(a) The English spoken was more or less in casual style, apparently from a native American male without foreign accent, and was often accompanied by photo images or moving images of an American VIP; the Id would intermittently appear with its Japanese brain chatter, expressing surprise at this sudden turn of events and apparently awed by the important American personality that had appeared.

(b) I was gradually misled into believing that the English brain chatter came from a source other than the Id, perhaps someone directly related to the portrait images that appeared as visual hallucinations, and I began to suspect the possibilities of a real conspiracy at work.

(c) Starting from this period, I would occasionally experience visual hallucinations of Japanese VIPs, but they would not speak out and tend to be very quiet.


(2) I eventually understood that the display of American VIPs in tandem with brain chatter in English, giving off the impression that they were sending me real messages, was all a hoax and charade orchestrated by the Id who was impersonating an American personality, making use of the right hemisphere.

In fact, the Id had accessed the right hemisphere to send out English messages and, at the same time, had started using the visual memory stored in the right hemisphere to create optical illusions.

(a) While images of Japanese VIPs appeared as visual hallucinations, they were silent and did not speak out at all. On the other hand, when I experienced brain chatter in Japanese, it was never accompanied by any visual images, and this trade-off relationship was intriguing.

After all, it may have been more natural for the Id, with its typically diabolical thinking, to display images of Japanese VIPs while brain chattering in Japanese, in order to deceive me into believing that the messages came from none other than such Japanese VIPs but, strangely enough, this did not happen.

In contrast, the new brand of brain chatter in English was accompanied by portrait images of well-known American characters.

(b) Memories of visual images including portraits must be stored in the right hemisphere, so that they are accessible to the Id only if the Id is within the right hemisphere; such conditions should be fulfilled if the Id is brain chattering in English, using the right hemisphere.

In conclusion, the Id was able to embellish English brain chatter with images of American VIPs, by simultaneously accessing the English language areas and visual memory areas in the right hemisphere, creating an audio-visual system for a perfect crime.

(c) However, if the Id is accessing the left hemisphere to brain chatter in Japanese, it cannot access any visual images stored in the right hemisphere at the same time and, hence, Japanese brain chatter is never accompanied by visual images.

When images of Japanese characters do appear as visual hallucinations, there is no Japanese brain chatter in accompaniment, and so they seem unable to speak. This is because the Id uses the right hemisphere to create visual hallucinations but, then, has no access to the left hemisphere needed for brain chattering in Japanese.



5. Writing and Reading


As I was still suffering from loss of ability to throw my voice and speak out with clarity, I sought further help from psychoanalysis and neuroscience, and eventually reached the conclusion that the Id was responsible for the loss of speech.

This line of thinking has led to new discoveries, with rather impressive results.

(1) Self-Imposed Right-ism for Writing

Notwithstanding left-handedness, I was completely habituated to using the right hand for writing (probably self-imposed, with encouragement from my parents since early years in primary school, to make it easier to write in Japanese), and this may have been a source of stressfulness.

Therefore, the desktop computer with keyboard was a true blessing and provided great relief, as it solved my problems of an awkward and skewered calligraphy, due to clumsiness with the right hand. In fact, when writing with the left hand for entertainment, I can relax and feel more self-confident.


(2) Cooperative System for Reading

After a while, the benefits of brain MRI seemed to disappear, and I was again haunted with the old problem of left-handedness and difficulty in using the Japanese language during meals.

During this period, I noticed these problems were alleviated when reading out loud. While using chopsticks with the left hand, I could not speak out in Japanese, but was able to read out loud from a Japanese book.

This was true, however, only if the book was placed in the binocular field of vision, so that both brain hemispheres had a glimpse of the material; if the book was placed to the far left (or far right) in the field of vision, to be seen by the contralateral hemisphere only, I was not able to read out aloud while moving the left fingers.

I thus came to the following conclusions:

(a) The entity reading out of the Japanese book (within the binocular field of vision) while using chopsticks with the left hand must be the Id, because the Ego had to be in the right hemisphere. The Id had apparently made use of the language areas in the left hemisphere that were not being used by the Ego.

In general terms, whenever the Ego is away, the Id may extend its network into the left hemisphere and help pronounce and vocalize words and sentences in Japanese, provided there is specific guidance, as to the specific words to be spoken.

(b) However, unless both hemispheres have an image of the reading material, the Id will be left without a clue to its content, and will not be able to provide assistance in reading out loud; if the reading material is placed in the peripheral areas of vision, the Ego will immediately occupy the only hemisphere to capture the visual image of the writing, and this leaves the Id without information.

(c) This points to a cooperative system for reading out loud, whereby both the Ego and the Id have a role to play, and so reading material must be placed within the binocular field of vision, to provide both with sufficient information; the Ego may initiate the act of reading out loud, but the Id plays a crucial role in pronouncing the words clearly.

(d) This reading experiment seemed to reveal an interesting difference from brain chatter.

In brain chatter, the Id seems able to formulate its own ideas and pass them on in silent messages to the Ego. However, for speaking out loud, the Id must be given specific guidance on the words to be pronounced and vocalized; the Id cannot initiate a speech, dialogue or conversation unless it is prepared beforehand, meaning there must be a text to read out from, or words that are memorized, as in a song.

(e) For speaking casually, since there is usually no prepared text, the Id must somehow detect beforehand what the Ego is about to say, and play a secondary and complementary role, helping out in pronunciation and diction.

(f) “Freudian slips” of the tongue must reflect the antics of the Id, because it can interfere with and affect pronunciation by manipulating the nervous system inside the mouth and throat, so that the Id’s preferences are reflected in the final choice of words.

(g) The garbled speech said to be characteristic of schizophrenia must be caused by the Id that maliciously interferes with and sabotages pronunciation.

(g) When people suffer from loss of voice, their Id may be resisting attempts by the Ego when it tries to pronounce words and sabotage efforts to speak out clearly.



6. Confessions of the Id


(1) Consequently, I asked myself, if the 2 brain hemispheres were generally compartmentalized as in my case, how could people then vocally discuss topics and subject matter handled in the right hemisphere?

To my great shock and surprise, the Id told me that it had created a barrier between the left and right hemispheres, long since forgotten, and was going to remove it.

This was followed by an unpleasant, nauseating session of about 10 minutes during which I was in a stupor, on my hands and knees. I then recovered, feeling better and tried myself out.

I discovered that most of my troubles pertaining to left-right disconnection had disappeared, so that I could speak out in Japanese even while using my left hand, and my voice was noticeably deeper and louder. Brain chatter had also become rare.

Following brain MRI that had effectively opened communications between the 2 brain hemispheres, the Id had apparently reinstalled a barrier, and after confessing, the Id had decided to remove it.

Later, the Id told me that the corpus callosum connecting the 2 hemispheres had to be cleaned out from time to time, as if it were the filter system in an air conditioner.

(2) I had intermittently experienced a shimmering inside the brain, as if accumulated static electricity were being discharged between the 2 hemispheres, and which prevented thinking until it had subsided. This may be caused by friction during the removal process of an unwanted barrier between the 2 hemispheres.

(3) While perusing through books on the functions of the eyeball, I discovered that the simple act of finding the blind-spot in the eye would trigger a process comparable to (1) above that resulted in a clearing of the consciousness and enhanced flexibility in thinking and behavior patterns.

This involved focusing on a point situated in a diagram with 1 eye closed and moving this diagram back and forth, but this had to be stopped in an instant due to the unpleasant impact, resembling a minor surgical operation.

(4) More recently, I would sometimes experience a slightly painful and unpleasant sensation that felt like an operation to remove and clear out a cyst in the middle of the brain, and this would result in a relaxion of tension as if an obstacle had been removed, and bringing what seemed to be smoother interflow between the left and right hemispheres. Brain chatter would also subside, so that the Id’s presence was less noticeable.



7. The Id’s Political Leanings


(1) Neuroscientists have mentioned that, in split-brain patients, the left and right hemispheres of the brain manifested the existence of separate consciousnesses in each, and that these 2 spiritual entities may even show attachment to different religions. There seemed to be a similar divergence in my case, without going through such a split-brain operation.

(a) The Id, seemingly immersed in Western values and the Christian tradition, was clearly not satisfied with Japanese values and ways of thinking, and was not going to allow me to blend in and be assimilated easily.

(b)The manifold suggestions of the Id during brain chatter were all aimed at preventing me from adapting to and being assimilated into Japanese society, to leave me helpless and without confidence, so that the Id could exercise its will upon me to the point of dominance and hegemony.

This went to such lengths as the use of the left hand for chopsticks, avoiding Japanese restaurants, preferring wine over sake, abhorrence of sophisticated Japanese writing (full of difficult Chinese characters and old expressions) leading to a psychological barrier against books on Japanese history as well as a failure to delve into Japanese traditions and culture, that included shunning Japanese shrines and temples.

(c)Feminism

The Id identified itself and sympathized with the womenfolk, and claimed that women were under the heavy influence of the Id; each female individual was closely linked and associated with other females, through both verbal and non-verbal communication among their Ids.


(2) Following this intuition, I called upon the collective Id in the vicinity, in silent mode, and asked them to punish the Id within me in the severest terms for its unacceptable behavior, tantamount to treachery against the family and the neighborhood, and a disgrace to Japanese society.

There was an unseen but immediate reaction; I began to breathe heavily without apparent cause and the Id, all upset, stopped its nonsense and confessed that it had been subjected to a strong retribution.

(3) Nowadays I believe the most important reason why the Id was trying to block assimilation into Japanese society may be the fact that the Id is normally in the right hemisphere, so that it is constantly brainwashed in the following manner:

(a) My right hemisphere contains the language areas for English and Spanish, and probably memories of life as a youngster and schooling abroad in the English language, including in the US.

Whichever spiritual entity finds itself in the right hemisphere will have closest access to these assets and may tend to have a pro-American outlook; this is likely to be the Id if I live in Japan, because the Ego will normally be in the left hemisphere for using Japanese.

(b) My left hemisphere contains the language areas for Japanese and French, as well as memories related to life in Japan, and education in the Japanese language.

The spiritual entity in the left hemisphere will be inclined to take a more neutral or independent stance on international affairs; this is likely to be the Ego, if I live in Japan and constantly using Japanese.

(c) The situation will be reversed, however, if the Ego is transferred into the right hemisphere, i.e. both the Ego and the Id are capable of holding conservative or independent views on international affairs, depending on the particular hemisphere they happen to be accessing.

This may explain why I sometimes have the impression that the Id holds contradictory views.

(d) This pattern seems to be reflected in the papers that I write on international affairs; if they are written in English, they may show American leanings, but in Japanese, they may have more independent overtones.


8. Further Developments


(1) After several of these strange, confrontational sessions involving the collective Id, I remembered someone’s remark to the effect that an advisable way to talk to women was to start by giving them praise and, given the obviously female overtones in the way messages from the Id were designed, I decided I might try to communicate with the Id as if it were a woman in the neighborhood instead of as a sub-human, evil entity; I laid emphasis on praising the Id on its patience, self-control and resourcefulness in handling strange social situations.

(2) Another breakthrough was the use of techniques known in Japan as the art of massage or Shiatsu. This came as an extension of the physical contact approach I had been exploring, and instead of hitting at parts of the skull to chastise the Id, I chose to caress pressure points where the left and right hemispheres of the brain should come together at the front and back.

(3) I learned to raise tension by clenching my feet at the toes, as if they were the claws of an animal ready to pounce on a smaller creature or for a quick escapade, and this was highly effective in keeping the Id out of the way; this would help increase my presence in front of other people and facilitate my way in a crowd or help throw my voice in noisy surroundings.


(4) Trips to Developing Countries

(a) An important breakthrough came with an overseas trip to a developing country that served to break the Id’s efforts to constrain my life to be secluded and sedentary, suggestive of a hermit, lacking in mobility, physical exercise, conversation and exchange with other people.

(b) During the trip, I was forced to be on my toes, enforcing strict discipline to be on time for planes, trains, buses and other means of transportation, to find my hotel or destination, and to be on the alert to avoid way-layers ready to pounce on and rip off tourists in outlandish clothes and burdened with heavy luggage.

Another point was observing local religious and other rules in terms of attire and behavior, and to keep myself in reasonable health and fitness, despite differences in water, food and sanitary conditions.

To top this off, there was the problem of the strange local languages whose writing system, too, was totally unfamiliar.

Under these circumstances, there was very little room for the Id to come out and intervene because I always had to be on the lookout, with no time to spare for contemplation, philosophizing or daydreaming.

(c) After this trip, my priorities were to blend into my neighborhood once again. There was a sense of detachment from the local community and the Id confessed that, after the trip, it can no longer effortlessly communicate with the local Id community.

I had apparently made a successful escape from the confines of the left brain hemisphere and come more under the influence of the right hemisphere. I found myself a somewhat different personality, with markedly less interest in research and analysis.

In any case, the trip had provided a strong stimulus, permitting an unexpected leap in terms of mental health. With this experience, I am ready to recommend such trips to lands where standards of living may be comparatively lower, as a new sort of remedy for new breakthroughs.


9. Id wants to avoid Hell


(1) I had noticed that, following my retirement at 60, the Id had become increasingly cooperative in my endeavors to research into the physical mechanism of brain chatter and to find effective ways of controlling it without medication.

(2) As I grew ever more curious to know why the Id was trying to be more cooperative and reconciled, it finally acknowledged that, after retirement, the Id had begun to feel uneasy with the recognition that I had probably lived more years than what remained, because life expectancy for a male Japanese was less than 90 years.

If the Id kept up its antics and mischief, it was highly probable that it would be sent to Hell. Now it wanted to avoid that scenario and that was why it had changed its attitude and started behaving in a more cooperative, humane and reasonable manner.

(3) In younger days, the Id had felt more complacent, thinking the Ego and the Id were inseparable, so that wherever the Ego would end up after passing, the Id was also destined to be, as a sort of an appendage, following final judgement.

Now it was less sure of this, and felt the Id could end up in Hell, no matter where the Ego found itself in the afterlife.

(4)While this was revealing, I realized that, if this were also the case in other people suffering from brain chatter, this meant that they might not find relief until they, too, had reached an advanced age, so that their Ids would begin to count the years left to live on.

In other words, the Id was too stupid and stubborn to start taking lessons and rectify its ways at an earlier stage.

(5)On the other hand, after a certain age, the symptoms might be expected to become milder for different reasons.

For one thing, the biological role of reproduction and the sex instinct, so much within the purview of the Id and one of its favorite ways of influencing behavior, should begin to wane and diminish.

Furthermore, after a certain age, one becomes an elder member of society, so that social responsibilities should pile up and add pressure against the Id.


10. Magnetism


(1) Much earlier, I had found out that brain MRI, albeit part of a physical examination, was also effective as a remedy for alleviating stressfulness. It seemed to smooth out communication between the 2 brain hemispheres and clamp down on brain chatter.

(2) After years of wondering what had happened for brain MRI to have such beneficial effects, I finally hit the idea that this must be the work of electric currents that flowed through the brain while I was exposed to strong magnetic forces inside the MRI machine, i.e. through electromagnetic induction, according to Faraday’s laws.

(3) I then decided to try out an experiment to see if this would work with simple household magnets, to achieve similar results in restraining brain chatter. I held a small magnet close to the head and moved it in a repeated, skimming motion, similar to the way a comb is used to smooth out the hair. To my astonishment, there were dramatic results, including more silence inside the head, a deepening of the voice and speech facilitation.

(4) Soon, I found out that this trick had to be used cautiously and sparingly because, despite the lack of strong stimulus while the magnet was actually being applied, the full effect was to hit seconds later, and there would be a sudden rise in tension and a strange, unhealthy sensation inside the head. I would generally be in a serious, no- nonsense mood over 1 or 2 days, and feel a strong urge to seek release.

(5) During this experimentation, I noticed that the location of my consciousness, or Ego, in terms of brain hemispheres, was apparently affected when the magnet was applied to either side of the head. This was because there was a strange correlation with the language I would use following each session, sometimes entailing a sudden change in linguistics. The details are as follows:

(a) Around the Right Ear

Applying the north pole gave rise to thinking in Japanese, whereas use of the south pole resulted in an English language mode.

(b) Around the Left Ear

Applying the north pole gave rise to thinking in English, whereas use of the south pole put me in a Japanese language mode.

Combined with the fact that Japanese is handled in my left brain hemisphere and English, in the right hemisphere, I came to the strangest conclusion that my consciousness, or Ego, was in itself polarized to magnetic north, because it consistently tried to move away from the magnetic north pole and to come nearer to the south pole.

(6)However, after a few of these sessions every day, I discovered that the results became fuzzier with repetition and, eventually, they failed to have any noticeable effect on language use. This had to be because the Ego had lost its magnetic polarity.

(7) This resulted in a long neglect in using magnets, and when I did take them up again, this time using a dipole, bar magnet, I discovered that the consciousness, or Ego, had regained its magnetic north polarity, so that the above exercise came in useful once again.

Not only that, but I also found that the mere act of holding a bar magnet in the hand had a noticeable effect on linguistics, precluding the need to apply it close to the skull.

(Right Hand) Holding N pole ⇒ Japanese ; S pole ⇒ English

(Left Hand) Holding N pole ⇒ English ; S pole ⇒ Japanese


11. Drawing and Painting Pictures


(1) Following this session with magnets and compasses, I happened to find at home, a drawing book for young people, showing finely defined images and contours in black and white, to be colored in with pencils. I felt I might pick up on a long forgotten area and decided to use this booklet for diversion; I began to use a set of differently colored pencils to brighten up these images with use of the left hand, as I was apt to do in primary school for drawing pictures.

(2) To my great surprise, this exercise suddenly transported me into a world without words or languages. In selecting colors and shapes, and finely manipulating the sharp end of the pencil, one relied not on verbal thinking and decision-making, but on intuition and instinctiveness, without the use of words. Gradually, I found myself relishing a world of complete silence while coloring in different shapes and contours, because brain chatter had fallen silent, and this was something I had missed for a long time.

(3) While using the left hand for coloring in the booklet, my awareness or Ego was apparently in the right hemisphere, quietly choosing the exact slots to be filled in, as well as the pencils of exactly the right color for the task. Apparently, this prevented the Id from reaching the language areas needed for brain chattering.



12. Removing Eyeglasses


After retiring at the age of 60, my problems with vision, i.e. near-sightedness, exacerbated from long hours at the office over decades, was alleviated each year so that, gradually, distant objects came into sharper focus and reading became easier when I took my spectacles off.

At 64, I ventured to take off my bifocals while outdoors for the summer, as the strong sunlight allowed me to make my way without them most of the time. I discovered that this would facilitate lateral eye movement and, consequently, promote the transfer of the Ego, or consciousness, between the right and left brain hemispheres.

Without the eyeglasses, I was no longer absent-minded, but a more carefree and unserious individual, so that mixing with people was easier. It was as though the glasses that I wore, the frame in particular, had been a psychological barrier that kept me focused in either of the brain hemispheres, so as to be lost in thought despite the presence of others.

In fact, the effect was so striking that I started to imagine that, in ancient Greece, the way people used to think must have been molded and constrained by their noses, characteristic in the sculptures that survive. Their shapes tended to discourage lateral eye movement and to keep their awareness insulated within either of the brain hemispheres, thus promoting deep, logical thinking as well as spatial imagination. This may perhaps explain why there were so many thinkers and philosophers, and why they had produced art of the highest quality, with a lasting effect on Western art.

The lesson was, if you have problems with vision, it may be better to wear contact lenses for socializing, not only for good looks, but also because they may be less obstructive in terms of lateral eye movement and Ego transfer between the left and right brain hemispheres, compared to eyeglasses. On the other hand, if you need to concentrate on your own, wearing even false spectacles could help focus your mind.



13. Final Analysis


(1) I have recently come to the conclusion that the source of my troubles must have been the artificial barrier created by the Id to block communication between the left and right brain hemispheres, in other words, to create a bicameral mind.

The incentive for the Id to engage in this harmful task may have been my lifestyle during younger days, when I had to sit and study for long hours, cramming knowledge, new concepts and ideas from books in order to pass tests and examinations.

For long hours during the day, I would be deeply immersed in the left hemisphere to use the native language for reading, writing, memorizing and for logical computations and exercises. In those days, my brain may have been represented by the notation [Ego, 0].

Under these circumstances, the Id would have had the opportunity to trespass into the vacant, right hemisphere, i.e. [Ego, Id].

(2) This must have provided the perfect opportunity for the Id to create a sanctuary in the right hemisphere by artificially plugging the corpus callosum, so that the Ego could not easily reach into the right hemisphere.

(Given the seeming influence of the Id in the maintenance of homeostasis, the Id may be based in the limbic system. If so, the corpus callosum must be a most convenient target for the Id to work on, because it is located just above the limbic system, like a roof or covering.)

This artificial barrier between the 2 hemispheres was to become the source of my troubles as to prevent Japanese speech while handling chopsticks with the left hand during meals.

The corpus callosum, supposedly a channel for smooth communication between the 2 sides of the brain, had now become an inhibitor.

(3) Then the Id, ensconced in the right hemisphere, found its way into the language areas on the right hemisphere, often left vacant as I habitually used the left hemisphere for Japanese and also because the obstacle created by the Id hindered access into the right hemisphere.

The Id then started brain chattering by using the language areas in the right hemisphere. When it began, it was in an English-speaking environment, and consisted of a repetition of simple words and phrases in English, hinting at use of the right hemisphere.

(4) The next step for the Id was to explore ways of accessing the language areas of the left hemisphere. This would happen at such times when I was trying to find my way in an unfamiliar environment during traveling and sightseeing, and using the right hemisphere. This sort of brain chatter took place in a Japanese-speaking environment and consisted of seemingly logical messages in Japanese.



14. Lessons Taken


(1) It took long years to uncover this nefarious mechanism, but I may have to be reconciled with the idea that mental health problems including brain chatter must have confounded the human race from prehistoric times or at least since the advent of writing.

Anyway, the lesson learned is, never study too much, because it may cause harm to your brain, by way of starting problems in left-right communication, eventually leading to the formation of a bicameral mind.

(2) The Ego may be inclined to use the left hemisphere much more than the right for language activities and logical thinking, but it is crucially important for the Ego to keep switching brain hemispheres from left to right and vice versa, through physical exercise or activities in music and art, so that the right hemisphere is not neglected.

This is to make sure that the Id is left with no window of opportunity to take advantage of the Ego’s absence and establish itself in the right hemisphere comfortably, without the Ego barging in from time to time.

(3) One should know that the Id, once safely established in the right hemisphere, will start to block the Ego’s access into that hemisphere by creating an artificial barrier, and then gradually trespass into the language areas. If successful, the Id will start to brain chatter, and this will be the onset of serious mental illness. The next step may be for the Id to find ways of exploring the left hemisphere.

(4) Notwithstanding the demands of the 21st century, heavy on language and digital communication skills, and with strong competition at the workplace, the left and right brain hemispheres should be used deliberately in a well- balanced manner on a daily basis, for the maintenance of mental health.



15. State of Recovery


Nowadays, comparatively speaking, my symptoms have become ever so slight. For example, I can speak out in Japanese while using the left hand, and in English while using the right hand; I can also read out loud from books in Japanese or in English, no matter where the book is placed, as long as it is within the bifocal field of vision.

Brain chatter has increasingly become rare, so that I no longer feel the need to turn on the TV without sound, and listen to the radio to keep the Id under control. In particular, brain chatter in English has become a thing of the past, especially after I saw through the mechanism, and the same goes for visual hallucinations as well.

I am increasingly unable to be all by myself, for want of someone to talk to in open conversation. As for the Id’s “silent megaphone” that used to cause so much trouble by provoking people around me, it has all but subsided, judging from the indifferent way in which people behave in my vicinity. With the silent megaphone under control, it has become increasingly rare for me to feel the need to address the collectivized subconscious, to ask for help against the Id.

Furthermore, I have come up with the idea of transferring the Ego into the left and right brain hemispheres by shifting the angle of the glance, or by changing the particular side of the nasal ridge within view. This has resulted in dramatic advances in the extent to which I can control the Id, e.g. by looking toward the right, to ensure the Ego’s presence in the left hemisphere.

Perhaps my biggest problem nowadays is the Id’s habit of behaving like an excited infant to create havoc inside the head at night, especially prior to new moons, so that I still lose a lot of sleep; the Id says it is due to many nocturnal hours of loneliness.

Thus, I sometimes use earplugs to quieten down brain chatter reverberations. A recent discovery has been the use of health accessory items using germanium. Faced with brain chatter havoc in the wee hours of morning, I would grab such a gadget while in bed and secure it in between the soles of the feet, as to complete a circuit running through the legs. This apparently causes an electric current to flow through the brain and intimidates the Id, so that brain chatter fades away.

Another ploy may be the use of varietal pillows, and wooden blocks and boards can be recommended.

In Search of the Id (II. Reflections)

In Search of the Id (II. Reflections)

  • 随筆・エッセイ
  • 中編
  • ミステリー
  • 全年齢対象
更新日
登録日 2018-12-26

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