An Announcement chapter11

Story about Jack's pilgrim

In a white room I was, no windows were there. However, one door was set in the wall. The door was made of wood. What kind of tree was used to make it? I didn't know. One thing I knew was that I was no longer a bench. I noticed by moving my right arm. Though that white room didn't have any windows nor equipment. Inside the room was bright like a sunny room. I stared at the door. It gave me a sense of premonition, but it gave me a good omen at the same time. I entered through the door. The room resembles life. All human beings were born like opening doors to enter into each room, or assuming the world is one room, every human being opens the same door as they are born. We spend time in the room till we pass away, and when the time has come, we leave the room and open the door again. Then, what will happen outside the room? What will wait for us? In front of me, there was the door knob. Spontaneously I set myself ready to face who, or what, just entered into the room. The door was opened. And who appeared in front of me was my ex-wife.

"Hello." That was the first word she said. She talked to me as if she never met me before. I wished we hadn't been. However, her appearance was what I knew. As old as she was, she lost her youth though she was still beautiful. I didn't reply to her. Can you imagine? If you met a person who you never dreamed of, what would you think? Her emergence even frightened me. She gradually approached me. The more she came close to me, the more my heartbeat sped up. What does she want to say? Why should she emerge?
"You seem to be surprised." Said she. I didn't reply again.
Finally, she stood just before my eyes. She stared at me. As well as the older man's eyes reflected my appearance, her eyes caught me in them.
"Won't you respond to me? As well as the times we spend together?"
"Are you, no, were you my wife? You are a lady who I know?"
"Yes, but you don't know about me at all."
"Does that mean that I haven't been trying to know you more?"
"Yes. And you never reveal yourself to me. You didn't let me understand you. You were always in a shell. Nobody could get in."
Was in a shell? It reminded me of the seabed again. I saw the deep ocean in the older man's eyes. Is there a correlation?
"Did you hear my voice when I was with you?" She asked me.
"No. I didn't hear nor contemplate or your grieving. Actually, I heard nothing."
"I know. However, now I can see you and hear you."
"That doesn't make any difference. Why couldn't you notice sooner?"
As she said this, she began to shed tears. Then, the white room's lights became dim. The room was gloomy. I could hardly see her face. However, I could feel her entity. She was there as a mass. What was she made of? I couldn't make it clear, nobody could make it. Nonetheless, I wanted to reach my hands toward her. I was quite sure that this time was the last time I could touch her, otherwise I would never ever get to her. I would never. i reached toward her. I wish I could know how she felt when we were together. She always listened to me whole-heartedly. She was always by my side. It was I who left her mind. I left her mind in this empty white room. There was no furniture, lives, windows or lights, only one door. I was the one who could open that door and I didn't. I touched something cold. It denied me. My hands were hurt like touching dry ice, but I didn't stop holding it.
"I'm sorry." I spontaneously uttered again and again. Who did I intend to convey my apologies? Of course, to her, but not only to her did I intend to, I thought. I might convey to whoever I lied to or betrayed. How long did it pass? The room got its lights back gradually. She turned her face down. I held her hands with my hands. Her tears were falling down on the floor. As her tears fell, the floor of the white room illuminated like a ripple. The ripple expanded along the wall and finally ended at the center of the ceiling. Her hands weren't like dry ice anymore, though they were still cold. Now there was an indication that heat would come back. Silence came. We didn't utter for a long time.

"When I first met you," she abruptly spoke out, "you said something about a world atlases, didn't you?"
"I did."
"Do you remember what you said?"
"Honestly, I don't."
Then she smiled at me. It had been so long since I saw she smiles. It gave me a sense of spring.
"You told the truth this time. You had just asked me to lend it to you."
"Well, is that what I said?"
"It was."
Then, the door knob made a sound. I felt my back tense.
"You should leave as soon as possible."
"But what will you do?"
"I'm OK. He only chases you."
"Well, you also mention him."
She held my hands tightly. I felt something was handed, but I couldn't certify what was that cause she held my hand so tightly. I recollected long time ago. She had used to hold my hands like she did at that time. As I thought, I wanted to shed tears. I sorted of cry. I wanted to be with her longer. Nonetheless, I knew I couldn't do that.
"The time has come." I said.
She said that verse when she had proposed divorcing. It had had curtain fallen. However, I considered it would give us another chances. If we wouldn't meet anymore, everything could be better than it had been, I thought. I couldn't tell everything was fine, but everything was in its right places. At least, for her, something would change. The knob of door spun. And she said,
"Thank you for choosing me."
Then everything became blurry.